My thirty days are officially over! I will admit that I am a little sad, but I am also thankful that I was able to learn so much about others and myself in such a short period of time! Looking back now I can see that there are definitely one or two things that I would have done differently. I do not want to say it was too late, but in a way, I think my classmates were kind of confused and surprised by my sudden and out-of-the-blue interest in them. I don’t know if they were weary or just in a state of surprise, but most of them did keep their guard up despite my communication efforts. I suppose you can’t win them all, but it got me to thinking whether or not things would have turned out differently if I had chosen to take my quest in a different direction. What if instead of choosing to reconnect with my class mates of 11 years, I had chosen to meet 1 or 2 new people everyday? Would I be better off or would I still be in the same self-confidence rut that I found myself in thirty days ago?
To be entirely honest, I think if I had chosen to meet new people, my quest would have been a bit more fun and a lot more exciting. I love learning new things and every person I meet teaches me something different. To me, meeting new people is like cracking open a book that I have never read without reading the back flap summary. I don't know what to expect till I start reading that first opening sentence and in my nerd-tastic way, I find that moment to be very exciting! :)
Plus, when I enter a conversation with a person for the first time, they do not know my past. They do not know all the embarrassing moments that make up my history. The strangers I meet have no clue that I wore glasses and had braces for what felt like a million years. They are completely that I farted in PE class in 3rd grade and blamed it on the boy next to me (unfortunately, I got caught : / ). All they know is that 1) I have a nice smile, 2) brown hair and 3) a small mole on my left cheek. It is SO much easier to start fresh than to start over!
But the question is, if I had chosen a quest all about meeting new people would I have ever reached the same level of self confidence as I have from reconnecting with the old? After much thought, I have decided that all in all I did make the right decision when choosing to make my quest about facing my fears and reconnecting with my peers. I have always been good with connecting with strangers ( I did meet one of my closest friends in a Hollister store after all :D) but as I have previously mentioned, I am not so good approaching the old. Therefore, I think that by choosing the quest I chose I was forced to challenge myself. The entire point of my quest was to face my fears and learn to put the opinions of others behind me and I do not believe I could have done that if I had chosen a different path for my 30 days.
For the longest time I lived in fear of their rejection and I was always worried that everyone was judging every little thing I did. Now that I have completed my quest, I know three things: 1.) No one really cares what I do. 2.) I do not need their approval & 3.) I am me. If they do not like me for anything less then I do not want them in my life.
I believe that Both quests had their upsides and I think that there would have been something to learn from each of them, but I truly think that I made the right decision. :)
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