Hmm... :D

My thirty days are officially over! I will admit that I am a little sad, but I am also thankful that I was able to learn so much about others and myself in such a short period of time! Looking back now I can see that there are definitely one or two things that I would have done differently. I do not want to say it was too late, but in a way, I think my classmates were kind of confused and surprised by my sudden and out-of-the-blue interest in them. I don’t know if they were weary or just in a state of surprise, but most of them did keep their guard up despite my communication efforts. I suppose you can’t win them all, but it got me to thinking whether or not things would have turned out differently if I had chosen to take my quest in a different direction. What if instead of choosing to reconnect with my class mates of 11 years, I had chosen to meet 1 or 2 new people everyday? Would I be better off or would I still be in the same self-confidence rut that I found myself in thirty days ago?

To be entirely honest, I think if I had chosen to meet new people, my quest would have been a bit more fun and a lot more exciting. I love learning new things and every person I meet teaches me something different. To me, meeting new people is like cracking open a book that I have never read without reading the back flap summary. I don't know what to expect till I start reading that first opening sentence and in my nerd-tastic way, I find that moment to be very exciting! :)

Plus, when I enter a conversation with a person for the first time, they do not know my past. They do not know all the embarrassing moments that make up my history. The strangers I meet have no clue that I wore glasses and had braces for what felt like a million years. They are completely that I farted in PE class in 3rd grade and blamed it on the boy next to me (unfortunately, I got caught : / ). All they know is that 1) I have a nice smile, 2) brown hair and 3) a small mole on my left cheek. It is SO much easier to start fresh than to start over!

But the question is, if I had chosen a quest all about meeting new people would I have ever reached the same level of self confidence as I have from reconnecting with the old? After much thought, I have decided that all in all I did make the right decision when choosing to make my quest about facing my fears and reconnecting with my peers. I have always been good with connecting with strangers ( I did meet one of my closest friends in a Hollister store after all :D) but as I have previously mentioned, I am not so good approaching the old. Therefore, I think that by choosing the quest I chose I was forced to challenge myself. The entire point of my quest was to face my fears and learn to put the opinions of others behind me and I do not believe I could have done that if I had chosen a different path for my 30 days.

For the longest time I lived in fear of their rejection and I was always worried that everyone was judging every little thing I did. Now that I have completed my quest, I know three things: 1.) No one really cares what I do. 2.) I do not need their approval & 3.) I am me. If they do not like me for anything less then I do not want them in my life.

I believe that Both quests had their upsides and I think that there would have been something to learn from each of them, but I truly think that I made the right decision. :)

I am One Happy Writer! :)

"The Greatest Composition Essay Ever

... will instantly make you reach for the closest nearby pen even if it is just the latest advertising ploy offered to you by your dentist or optometrist. The Greatest Composition Essay Ever will inspire you to the point where you jump out of your seat and run full speed to your awaiting laptop keyboard. It will make you want to share it's glorious content with anyone and everyone you encounter; from the man taking out the trash next door, to your dog Rufus who just happened to be lying on the floor in that exact instant, or even the cop atop the gallant horse who looks like he needs a carrot or eight. It doesn't matter whom you show it to, it’s just that you do.

After that first eye opening paragraph, you'll find that the author of The Greatest Composition Essay Ever now feels the need to teach you something. Not so much something as everything. They offer subliminal tips hidden throughout the essay like Easter eggs in a heavily wooded park with the hope that you and, as you wish to believe, only you will find these tips and clues and use them to become the best writer you can be. You may already be a wonderful writer of course, but with these new elusive finds you can become even greater. From the moment you resurface gasping for literary air from your dive within The Greatest Composition Essay Ever, you are able to move mountains with your two truest tools: your pen and your paper.

But, like every great classroom, The Greatest Composition Essay Ever is not all learning and no fun. The author has taught you his ways and now he must teach you his heart. He must evoke the passion within you that he finds within himself. To do so, he must make you laugh. He shall use sharp wit and clever hints at humor, the not stated but definitely implied sort, to sweep you off your feet. Of course being The Greatest Composition Essay Ever, there will be an assortment

of humors catered to. Varying from the common knock knock joke to the deeply poetic, the author will have you laughing in a way that makes your stomach rumble and your ears wiggle.

At last, The Greatest Composition Essay Ever is over. A large part of you is sad to see this wonderful essay end, but another part of you always knew that your love affair with this written work must eventually come to an end. So you choose to embrace this conclusive end and go forth to your humbly awaiting desk complete with laptop, reading lamp, and day calendar that shows hairy old men doing such ridiculous things that only cartoons can do. From there you will make you most heart wrenching attempt to not only create an awe-inspiring essay of your own, but actually make a composition so profound that it will literally steal the esteemed title of The Greatest Composition Essay Ever from its previous owner! Only time will tell if you succeed or fail in a brilliant way so for now you must be left to the sound of your own nimble breaths and the clacking of computer keys."

I wrote the above mini-essay as extra credit for my Composition class. After I wrote it, I was truly excited with what I had composed and to be honest I kind of felt like a total dummie head when I looked back a few days later to see if anyone else had posted their own version and I saw that they had not. I WAS THE ONLY ONE. I felt like a teachers pet and a show off all at once. A very bad combination indeed. But tonight as I got on out of the blue I saw that Lillie Ward, a fellow classmate of mine had commented on it! She said, "The part about moving mountains with your pen and paper was clever. I really enjoyed your submission and think you have some real abilities when it comes to captivating your audience."

Oh my goodness! I do not know this Lillie other than the fact that I have a tendency to comment on her discussion posts, but she truly MADE MY DAY! :)

I am a person who has dealt with self confidence issues for a really long time, and because of that I have never really let any one besides my mom and a girl in my creative writing class read any of my work. I tend to keep it secret because I do not want people to tear it down like it is a math club poster. I may be on the school paper staff, but no one reads it so I do not have to worry with what anyone has to say. That is why joining this composition class was a big deal for me. It may have been an online class full of strangers, but still! They were forced to read my thoughts and opinions! This explains why I was a bit embarrassed and a tad discouraged when I saw that no one else had submitted extra credit. But after reading Lillie's comment I want to write until the sun comes up and then some! :D

Thank you for giving me the confidence to keep on writing Lillie. :D

I Eat Way Too Much Chinese Food.

My fortune cookie tonight was an impostor. I cracked open my cookie with the hope that some major revelation about my future would be lurking inside, but no. Instead of my fortune, I found a statement. I had been given a STATEMENT cookie and I must wonder aloud, where is the fun in that?

Despite my first misgivings about my cookie switch-a-roo, I have to admit that there was beauty in that statement that lay inside. On that small, rectangular sheet of white paper were three words. Confidence Begets Confidence. I was disappointed by the fact that I really had no deep interpretations for that small yet powerful statement, but that disappointment led me to do some sleuthing.

By definition, Confidence is belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. Beget is defined as to cause; produce as an effect. I officially had the pieces, but what was I to do with them? Put my hair up in a messy bun, throw on my cheetah print glasses, and get to thinking!

With my trusty definitions in hand, I put the pieces of my statement cookie wisdom back together. My result was simple. Confidence is the building blocks of, well, more confidence. You cannot hope to gain confidence if you do not posses at least some belief that you can attain it. You cannot climb a mountain with out beginning the climb. In that same way, you can not build a house without a foundation. To be CONFIDENT, you must have certainty in yourself!

With knowledge like this baked in golden goodness, I guess when it comes to a statement cookie you cannot go wrong. :)